Overpowering Our Reluctance

The Right Time May Never Arrive 

Every day we delay, avoid, or put off what matters most. 

Not because we don’t know what to do—but because reluctance quietly gets in the way.

Celebrate UnReluctant Day with Reluctance: The Subtle Saboteur: How to Get Going Again 

Now available in eBook + AudioBook


The Ten Things People Are Most Reluctant to Do

During our 1st Annual UnReluctant Day, one of the things we realized is that people will generally not recognize or outright deny that they are reluctant. We found that it is much easier to identify actions that people may be reluctant to take, rather than addressing reluctance as a general issue. 

Once people begin paying attention to reluctance, an interesting pattern emerges.

Reluctance can appear almost anywhere, but there are certain actions that repeatedly trigger hesitation. These actions matter because they are often connected to growth, fulfillment, freedom, and success.

Here are ten things people are most reluctant to do.

1. Make Important Decisions
Decisions close off alternatives and create accountability.
As long as a decision remains unmade, every option still appears available.

2. Forgive Others
Forgiveness can feel like surrendering a grievance or abandoning a sense of justice.
Holding on often feels safer than letting go.

3. Admit They Are Wrong
Admitting error challenges ego, identity, and self-image.
Many people would rather defend a position than revise it.

4. Change Direction
Even an unsatisfying path can feel safer than uncertainty.
The familiar often wins over the possible.

5. Accept Responsibility
Responsibility returns ownership of outcomes to the individual.
That can be empowering—but also uncomfortable.

6. Have Difficult Conversations
Conflict, rejection, and discomfort often seem larger in imagination than they are in reality.

7. Celebrate Success—Their Own or Someone Else’s
Success can trigger discomfort, envy, imposter syndrome, or fear of appearing arrogant.

8. Make Major Commitments
Commitment narrows options and requires sustained effort.
Many people hesitate because commitment eliminates easy escape routes.

9. Take Calculated Risks
The possibility of failure often receives more attention than the possibility of gain.

10. Live Authentically
Authenticity risks criticism, misunderstanding, and controversy.
Yet it also creates freedom.

What’s fascinating is that these ten forms of reluctance closely align with many of the qualities people seek when upgrading their self-image.

  •    Decisive Action addresses reluctance around decisions and commitments.
  •    Misguided Defensiveness addresses reluctance around admitting mistakes and accepting responsibility.
  •    Controversy addresses reluctance around difficult conversations and authentic expression.
  •    Self-Sovereignty addresses reluctance around responsibility, change, and personal freedom.
  •    Normalization reminds us that many people gradually normalize avoiding all ten.

This leads to another important distinction. Most people believe fear of failure is the primary obstacle holding them back.

A more precise observation may be this:
People often fear the consequences of success, responsibility, commitment, authenticity, and change even more than they fear failure.

Failure can be painful.
But success changes expectations.
Responsibility eliminates excuses.
Authenticity invites judgment.
Commitment demands consistency.
Change disrupts comfort.

These realities often threaten a person’s identity, relationships, and established self-image more than failure itself. That is why reluctance deserves our attention.

The life we want is often not blocked by a lack of ability. It is blocked by a hesitation we have grown so accustomed to that we no longer notice it.

The challenge is not merely to be courageous.
The challenge is to become increasingly UnReluctant.

Aspire.
Be Less Reluctant.
Come Upwards with Us™