Preparing for June 30 – the annual UnReluctant Day – it’s always helpful and important to level-set expectations and objectives.
Let’s not look at this as “trying to overcome reluctance”.
“Overcome reluctance” is vague.
Instead, let’s apply some Mental Precision. Here’s a more accurate statement of our intention:
“Identify the specific actions you are reluctant to take in the areas that matter most” is actionable.
How does this help?
Instead of treating reluctance as a single emotional state, you’re identifying the specific positive behavior that you have – up until now – avoided.
We can frame it this way:
Reluctance is rarely a life problem.
It is usually an action problem.
We are reluctant to do something specific.
Let’s use this lens on the major domains of life.
Personal Growth
What are you reluctant to do?
- Read the book.
- Start journaling.
- Seek feedback.
- Admit a weakness.
- Challenge an old belief.
- Spend time in self-reflection.
Health and Fitness
What are you reluctant to do?
- Go for the walk.
- Join the gym.
- Schedule the checkup.
- Change eating habits.
- Get enough sleep.
- Step on the scale.
- Follow through consistently.
One-on-One Relationships
What are you reluctant to do?
- Initiate a conversation.
- Express appreciation.
- Apologize.
- Forgive.
- Set a boundary.
- State your expectations.
- Tell someone how much they matter.
Socially
What are you reluctant to do?
- Introduce yourself.
- Attend an event.
- Join a group.
- Speak up.
- Invite someone to lunch.
- Expand your circle.
Career and Professionally
What are you reluctant to do?
- Ask for the promotion.
- Request more responsibility.
- Delegate.
- Lead a project.
- Speak during meetings.
- Share an idea.
- Pursue a new opportunity.
Financially
What are you reluctant to do?
- Create a budget.
- Review spending.
- Meet with an advisor.
- Negotiate compensation.
- Raise prices.
- Start investing.
- Make a financial plan.
Deliberate Learning
What are you reluctant to do?
- Become a beginner again.
- Take a class.
- Learn new technology.
- Practice a difficult skill.
- Ask questions.
- Invest time in mastery.
What’s interesting is that once people complete this exercise, they often discover something surprising:
You are not reluctant about everything.
You may very well be reluctant about a handful of specific – and meaningful – actions.
That realization immediately makes the challenge smaller.
Instead of:
“I’m stuck.”
It becomes:
“I’m reluctant to ask for the promotion.”
or
“I’m reluctant to call my brother.”
or
“I’m reluctant to join the gym.”
Now you have something concrete to work with.
What are you reluctant to do that would likely improve your life?
That’s a powerful reflection prompt because it combines:
- A specific action.
- An admission of reluctance.
- A recognition that the action would probably help.
Once those three things are visible, the path forward often becomes obvious.
In many cases, people already know what they need to do – they simply haven’t named the reluctance. Naming it turns a fog into a target.
