Why a Positive Phrase Feels Negative (and How to Reclaim It)
“I’m not sure why,” a reader told me after listening to the latest No Cry Zone, “But when I hear someone say ‘Take it up a notch,” it seems negative, and maybe intense.”
I’ve noticed others think it’s close to saying “Let’s get crazy.” We’ve examined other words and sayings that have unexpected connotations. Let’s look closely.
“Take it up a notch” should be one of the most encouraging phrases in the English language. It suggests progress, elevation, and forward movement. It implies that something is already working – and now it’s time to build on it.
And yet, for many people, it lands wrong.
It feels like pressure. Criticism. Even a subtle reprimand or “indictment“.
Why?
Because the meaning of a phrase is not determined by its dictionary definition. It’s determined by how people have experienced it over time.
Most people haven’t heard “take it up a notch” in moments of celebration. They’ve heard it in moments of correction.
In the workplace, it often shows up when performance is lacking. In sports, when effort isn’t enough. In school, when expectations aren’t being met.
Over time, the phrase becomes less about growth and more about deficiency.
It stops meaning:
“You’re doing well – let’s build on it.”
And starts meaning:
“What you’re doing isn’t enough.”
That alteration matters.
Layer on top of that the reality that “take it up a notch” implies more – more effort, more energy, more output.
For someone already feeling stretched, that doesn’t feel like encouragement. It feels like another demand in a long line of demands.
So instead of inspiration, the internal reaction becomes:
“How much more do you want from me?”
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There’s also the issue of ambiguity.
“Take it up a notch” sounds clear, but it’s actually vague. It doesn’t specify what should change, how to improve, or what success looks like.
And when people are left to interpret vague direction – especially in performance-related situations – they often default to negative assumptions.
They don’t think:
“This is an opportunity.”
They think:
“I must be missing something… or doing something wrong.”
Now add one more layer: tone memory.
People don’t just remember words – they remember how those words felt when they were delivered. If “take it up a notch” has historically been said with impatience, frustration, or authority, then even a well-intentioned version of the phrase carries that emotional residue.
This is how language evolves in real life. Not through definition, but through repetition and association.
So what you’re seeing isn’t resistance to growth. It’s a conditioned response to how the phrase has been used.
And that’s the opportunity.
Because phrases like this can be reclaimed.
When you say “take it up a notch” and pair it with clarity, respect, and encouragement, you begin to separate it from its past. You restore its original intent.
Try this:
- “You’re doing well – let’s take it up a notch by focusing on this one area.”
- “There’s another level here, if you’re interested in going after it.”
- “This is strong. Let’s elevate it just a bit more.”
Now the phrase doesn’t imply deficiency. It signals possibility.
That’s a critical distinction.
The goal isn’t to avoid phrases that have been misused. The goal is to use them with precision and intention so they land the way you mean them.
Because at its best, “take it up a notch” is not pressure.
It’s belief.
It’s someone saying:
“There’s more in you – and I can see it.”
And when that message comes through clearly, the phrase becomes what it was always meant to be:
A call upward.
